A week or so ago I posted a very raw message on Facebook.
I shared it on my blog’s Facebook page. Once upon a time someone accused me of creating an unrealistic image of life by sharing only positive things. In my heart I know that’s not true but it stayed with me and still influences my decisions in terms of what to share. I almost feel like it’s my responsibility to share the rough with the smooth.
Nevertheless when I started to write that day, I didn’t intend for the words to come out the way that they did.
I felt better for getting my feelings out of my own head and seeing them on a screen but as people began to respond I felt worse.
I sat and read comments and messages through hot round tears and with each one I sank deeper and deeper into despair. What is it about people being nice to you that makes you feel weak.
The next day I felt better. I’d been resting for a full 48 hours so physically I felt better but my mind felt lighter too. Again I read through the messages and comments, but this time instead of feeling worse with each one, I felt lifted.
Not one of the people who responded said anything to minimise my experience. Nobody told me that everything would be alright. Nobody pitied me or tried to fix me. Those wonderful people, all of them just allowed me to grieve, allowed me to feel broken, lost, angry. They held space for me.
Those people who responded were there with me and for me. And they’ve been with me and for me for years. Some of them are what you might call real life friends and of course they’re real life friends that I treasure, but alot are people whom I’ve never met, people who have connected to me through my blog. They’re my tribe.
I realised that these people were my tribe years ago but it’s always good to be reminded. They’ve been there through births, deaths, marriages, fires, sickness, success and failure. Their words were there with me this weekend when I had to take a break from festivities to nap for two hours in a tent! And what do I give them in return? A few recipes? My opinion on local days out? How lucky am I!
Perhaps that’s why I love blogging so much. Not just because it’s an outlet for creativity but because it’s drawn to me, the people who have become my tribe. And I’m so grateful.
The support from my tribe buoyed me enough that I was able to remember my own truth – that I’m the luckiest unlucky girl in the World. I can take ownership of this situation and frame it however I choose. It doesn’t have to be the stealer of dreams, it can be the reason I have to slow down and really consider what those dreams are.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my tribe.
Love Rachel ❤️