My Not So Funny Vagina

Did you ever have a trans-vaginal scan?

Those who have had one will know that it’s a very odd experience to say the least.  A long probe, about and inch or so wide is inserted in your lady parts.  But first the technician pops a massive condom onto it and finishes the ensemble with half a tube of lube!

I had tonnes of these scans during IVF and used to crack jokes every time to make myself less nervous.  My favourite was “aren’t you going to buy me a drink first?”. I’m sure they’d heard them all before, but they always laughed with me, which was very nice if them.

Recently, though not pregnant, I had to have another one of these scans and despite me being an old hand, the nerves set in.  I mean it’s weird enough going into a hospital during a pandemic, without having to say hello to ‘dildo-cam’.

I wore a mask of course, kept my hands to myself and sat and waited alone in a completely empty waiting room, before being called through for my appointment.

Then when the nurse asked me if I had any Covid-like symptoms, I said “no and my vagina has been adhering to social distancing rules for some time.”

I thought I was freakin’ hilarious.
She didn’t laugh.  Just two eyes staring at me blankly over her disposable face mask.

Silence.

Then I had to take my pants off 😬

So pandemic aside, I was terribly glad of my mask for hiding my blushes today.  I went straight home for a gin and old fashioned lemonade for me and my apparently not hilarious vagina.

Bottoms up, as it were 😂

Love Rachel ♥️