Did you ever have a trans-vaginal scan?
Those who have had one will know that it’s a very odd experience to say the least. A long probe, about and inch or so wide is inserted in your lady parts. But first the technician pops a massive condom onto it and finishes the ensemble with half a tube of lube!
I had tonnes of these scans during IVF and used to crack jokes every time to make myself less nervous. My favourite was “aren’t you going to buy me a drink first?”. I’m sure they’d heard them all before, but they always laughed with me, which was very nice if them.
Recently, though not pregnant, I had to have another one of these scans and despite me being an old hand, the nerves set in. I mean it’s weird enough going into a hospital during a pandemic, without having to say hello to ‘dildo-cam’.
I wore a mask of course, kept my hands to myself and sat and waited alone in a completely empty waiting room, before being called through for my appointment.
Then when the nurse asked me if I had any Covid-like symptoms, I said “no and my vagina has been adhering to social distancing rules for some time.”
I thought I was freakin’ hilarious.
She didn’t laugh. Just two eyes staring at me blankly over her disposable face mask.
Then I had to take my pants off 😬
So pandemic aside, I was terribly glad of my mask for hiding my blushes today. I went straight home for a gin and old fashioned lemonade for me and my apparently not hilarious vagina.
Bottoms up, as it were 😂
Love Rachel ♥️